Destiny. Part One. Connection.
Interlude: Screwed
So Kieran asked me if I wanted to go out with him. I obviously said yes. But you know what ‘going out’ in high school means. There’s not really a lot of actual going out or going on dates. He’s my boyfriend.
Let’s look at the pros, shall we:
He’s smart. He’s hot. He can sing. He plays guitar.
Perfect, right?
Perfect except for the minor details. Like how he’s not from Beverly Hills and isn’t going to inherit millions of dollars. Not to mention that my mom would never approve.
But I like him so much. Maybe those things, what he’s not, are what make the deal so much sweeter. He doesn’t come with any strings attached—there are no guarantees. It’s just real life. There it is. That’s why I like him. Kieran is real. He’s not part of the Beverly Hills bubble. The kid works at Kinko’s. That’s so…different. Well, just the fact that he actually has a job is different from what I know. I mean, my guy friends? All they have to worry about is making sure their parents don’t know how wasted they were on Friday night.
For now everything is good. My friends know, and like I said before, we’re a tight-knit group so anyone who isn’t supposed to know isn’t going to know. Even Jeremy knows and he’s not going to say anything. He’s encouraging it, even. Everything should be in my favor.
My problem is that I still have to go to that dinner with the Parsons next Sunday. I can’t not go. What am I supposed to say? “Mom, I’m already dating this really awesome kid that you would probably forbid me from seeing so I can’t go out with Nathan. Sorry!” Yeah, right. Cows will sooner fly over the moon.
But this Kieran thing really shouldn’t be that big of a deal. Oh, who am I kidding? Yes it is. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I shouldn’t have met Kieran or fallen for him with his dimples and pretty eyes. I shouldn’t have gone on that walk with him. I shouldn’t have been so eager to say ‘yes’ when he asked me out. I shouldn’t have wanted to go out with him at all.
I’ll just have to live with the constant fear—a caution to be careful—in the back of my mind that everything is going to blow up in my face. I’m not naïve. It would just be too perfect if nothing went wrong and there were no consequences. If my friends or my brother won’t spill the beans, well, someone will. I’ll get busted.
I feel like it’s worth it. It’s so exciting to spend time with him, to listen to him, to matter to him. God, I am so stubborn and stupid.
Shit. Fuck. Damn. I am so screwed.