Back to my point, there are a lot of decisions to be made even when they’re completely miniscule. I make big decisions for my characters and their outcomes, but I also make decisions about the tiniest details that often have no consequences. Sometimes time goes by and I’ll see these tiny details out in the real world. I love that. I always aim for the worlds of my characters to be as close to reality as possible. So when these little details that I’ve decided are right for my story/stories appear beyond the realm of fiction, well, I sort of feel like I’ve done my story justice.

In the first NF article/post, I talked at length about the conference alignment of the NHL as it is presented in the new story. I gave my own reasons for why I made the decision to name the Quebec City team the Bulldogs instead of the Nordiques. Today, I was flipping through the current issue of The Hockey News and landed on an article by senior writer Ken Campbell entitled “Fleur de League”. It is in regard to now being the right time for Quebec City to have an NHL team to call its own again (if you read my NF post, you’ll know why QC has a team in my story version of the NHL). The introduction of Campbell’s article is as follows:

If Quebec City ever gets an NHL team again, it would be considered sacrilege to call it anything but the Nordiques. We all get that. But if you really want to harken back to the salad days of professional hockey in La Vielle Capitale, you might want to consider the Bulldogs for a moniker.

After all, no professional team in Quebec City has even come close to the legendary Bulldogs, who won their first of consecutive Stanley Cups exactly 100 years ago. With future Hall of Famers Joe Malone, goalie Paddy Moran and defenseman ‘Bad’ Joe Hall in the lineup, the Bulldogs were the toast of the hockey world two years running.

The article goes on with a brief history of the Bulldogs; it brings up the Nordiques, the Avalanche, the Coyotes, the Thrashers, and the Jets; and it gives reasons as to why Quebec City is right. But that’s not what’s important here. I was stuck on those first two paragraphs for a few moments with a dumb smile on my face. This is the senior writer from a hockey magazine–arguably the most read hockey publication in North America–posing to his readership a decision that I consciously made for my own purposes. The last time I modified my alignment document, with the Bulldogs name, was a couple of days before the end of March. This current issue of THN is on stands until May 14th.

Obviously it was only coincidence (and as Campbell writes, obviously a team in QC would be re-named the Nordiques, not the Bulldogs). But it’s really damn cool. As I’ve said before, I want my current project to be the new Part Three of the trilogy. I mean that I want it to be my new favorite story that I’ve written and my new best story that I’ve written. To take it even further, I want it to be the new story that I’m most proud of. I want to be on point, even in the smallest of details. So far, I think I am.

I thought I would be done posting SWW by now. But I’m not. I posted a chapter of it a few days ago though. It shouldn’t be too much longer until I get the next one up…but I’ll bite my lip.

Writing is pretty much at a standstill right now. I should be writing for New Frontiers since it is my current project, and I really like it, and I’m still excited about it. The thing is…the NHL Stanley Cup playoffs are happening right now. New Frontiers involves hockey because I love hockey. I plan my nights around hockey during the regular season, so why would the playoffs be any different? So, my point is, I haven’t been writing because I’ve been watching. I haven’t even began editing the next chapter of New Frontiers.

But that doesn’t mean I won’t post it this month! I just thought about the chapter now, which made me smile, and I want to share it. I’m even going to open the file and take a look at it right now. I’ll get one posted this month. I will.

Here is the link for the latest SWW: 3-VIII

When I was in the planning stages of this story, I realized that the NHL is aligned almost perfectly. There are 30 teams. There are two 15-team conferences. Each conference has three five-team divisions. Here is the current alignment as of the 2011-12 NHL season:

In the prologue of New Frontiers, Aubin is introduced as French-Canadian, Métis (more on this in a later post), and a hockey player for the San Diego Stingrays. Though the Stingrays are a fictional team, they are said to play in the NHL. So the almost-perfect alignment of the current league posed problems for the “existence” of the Stingrays.

It was necessary to create the Stingrays though. I knew that I wanted Aubin to play in the best professional hockey league there is. I knew that I wanted the story to be set in Southern California because, well, it’s standard for my stories to be in Southern California. The way to get all of that done without the story being fan fiction was to create the Stingrays so that Aubin and all of his teammates (or at least the ones that I will focus on) are original characters.

The NHL’s alignment is almost perfect, but not quite. In its current format, it’d be hard to accept the magical addition of an expansion team in San Diego. It’s the little imperfections that help me with the fictional Stingrays.

• The Winnipeg Jets currently sit in the Southeast Division with four teams that are not geographically related to them in any way. This is because the new Jets (not to be confused with the 1972-1979 WHA and 1979-1996 NHL Jets) were formerly the Atlanta Thrashers (1999-2011). When the team was moved to Winnipeg, they remained in the Southeast Division.
• The Dallas Stars are in the Pacific Division, though Dallas is in the Central time zone. The Columbus Blue Jackets and Detroit Red Wings play in the Central Division, though both are in the Eastern time zone. This time zone stuff can be problematic for fan bases when the teams have to travel to the west coast (all three teams are in the Western Conference) for games.
• For the last couple of years, there has been uncertainty about the future of the Phoenix Coyotes remaining in Arizona. The team is currently owned by the NHL and relocation to another city is a very real possibility, depending on who buys the team. A few cities linked to relocation include Quebec City, Hamilton, Seattle, and Kansas City.

Back in December 2011, the NHL Board of Governors approved a radical realignment plan that would see an end to the two-conference and six-division setup starting with the 2012-13 season. The approved plan eliminated divisions and instead created a four-conference league.

The strongest selling point of the new alignment was a balanced schedule for all teams. All teams would play each other at least twice every season, once and home and once on the road. Therefore, fans would have the opportunity to see each team and “superstar” once. The remaining games would be played within the conferences. Teams in seven-team conferences would play 36 inter-conference games: three at home, and three on the road (six total) between inter-conference teams. Teams in eight-team conferences would play five or six total games between inter-conference teams (38 inter-conference games) on a rotating basis from year to year.

While this plan was favorable in some situations–like each team playing every team at least twice in one season–it had a lot of flaws. The graphic above shows that under the new alignment, two conferences would have eight teams and the other two would have seven, regardless of whether Phoenix relocates or not. The proposed realignment would be beneficial geographically and time zone wise for Detroit, Columbus, and Dallas, but it puts the two Florida teams in a conference with the teams in the northeast. One area in particular where the plan was flawed is the impact it would have on the playoff format (more on this as you read further down the page).

A month after the approved plan was announced, the league announced that the realignment would not be implemented in the 2012-13 season because the NHL Players’ Association refused to consent this change. The official statement from the NHL called the NHLPA’s refusal “unreasonable” and “in violation of the league’s rights”. However, the union (that is, the NHLPA) did have valid concerns. The union felt that the plan was not considerate of the players and the league could not provide them with a sample of increased/decreased travel for teams. In the NHLPA’s eyes, the realignment plan worked in the interests of the owners and not in the best interests of the players.

When the 2012-13 NHL season begins (whenever that may be–the league’s current Collective Bargaining Agreement expires at the end of the 2011-12 season and some time could be lost to a lockout if the league and union don’t finalize their agreements before October) there will be no realignment. The conferences and divisions remain intact. The Dallas Stars will still be in the Pacific Division. The Winnipeg Jets will still be in the geographically unrelated Southeast Division. The Columbus Blue Jackets will still be in the Western Conference.

But hey, the combination of the flawed realignment plan, the current alignment, and the struggling franchies are actually instruments that can be used in creating the league with the Stingrays in New Frontiers. Here is the alignment of “the NHL” as it will appear in the story:

Instead of the proposed four-conference format, the two-conference format still exists, albeit with four divisions with eight teams each. As much as possible, I tried to keep geographically-related teams together while also maintaining rivalries.

• This version of the league has 32 teams instead of 30, which is what creates a balance of eight teams in all of the divisions. Three teams are highlighted as a fictional result of relocation and expansion. This alignment assumes that the Phoenix Coyotes have relocated to Quebec City. The Stingrays have taken Phoenix’s spot in the Western Conference, as the league has expanded to San Diego. Kansas City is the other place of expansion.
• The best idea from the NHLPA-rejected realignment plan is kept. All teams will meet at least twice in the season: once at home, and once on the road. The rest of the games will be played in-division, five or six times between each team, on a rotating basis.
• The Dallas Stars and Winnipeg Jets are in the Central Division. The Columbus Blue Jackets are in the Atlantic Division in the Eastern Conference. Did you know that Columbus is only about a 3.5 hour drive from Pittsburgh? In the last few years, Penguins fans have filled up the arena in Columbus when the Penguins play there. Columbus is in the Eastern Conference, which would make for less trips westward where their fans have to stay up for 10/10:30 game time starts (7/7:30 on the west coast). Under the current alignment and schedule, the Blue Jackets play in Los Angeles, Anaheim, San Jose, and Vancouver twice each season. In the story’s alignment and schedule, they’d only have to travel to and play in those cities (and San Diego) once each season.
• The Atlantic Division also sees the addition of the Washington Capitals. This puts the Capitals back in a division with many of the teams that they played with in the old Patrick Division, which they were part of from 1979-1993. Notably, it would also reinforce the current rivalry between the Washington Capitals and Pittsburgh Penguins.
• Unfortunately, it looks like the Florida teams would still be the “losers” of the fictional realignment in the story. There are a few other ways that I could have aligned the Eastern Conference teams…but the Florida teams are the victims of not having any real rivalries. Other teams may not need to be grouped togerther solely on geography, but they need to be together to respect rivalries. For example, any grouping that separates Boston and Montreal would just be wrong.

A big problem with the NHL’s proposed realignment in December was the way it would modify the playoffs. Under that plan, the top four teams from each of the new conferences would make the first round of the playoffs. The first round of the playoffs would be played exclusively in-conference using a 1 vs 4 and 2 vs 3 format, with the higher seeded team getting home ice advantage. The second round would still be played in-conference in a head-to-head battle between the two remaining teams in each conference. The winner of each conference would advance to the third round. The decision for the reseeding of these final four teams was yet to be determined at the time the realignment plan was announced.

None of what I’ve described seems awful or too unfair until you consider that the proposed conferences were unbalanced, two having seven teams and two having eight teams. The four-team conference playoff format for the first two rounds creates an unfair advantage for teams that are in a seven-team conference. There is also the issue of parity. Not all conferences and divisions exist equally. What if a team misses or makes the playoffs because they are in a weak/strong conference? For example, Team A could argue that they would make the playoffs in Conference X because they have more points than rebuilding Team B and Team C who play in Conference X. But because Team A plays in Conference Y with powerhouse Teams D, E, F, and G, Team A doesn’t have a shot this decade.

The emphasis on succeeding within a four-conference league takes away from whole-league competition. Instead of competing for one of the top eight spots in two conferences, each team is competing for one of the top four spots in their conference. The only thing that really matters in April is whether or not a team can compete within its own conference. No need to worry about the best teams in the other divisions, because there wouldn’t be divisions.

The unchanged playoff format as it is right now seems much more fair. The top eight teams (based on points and tie-breakers, if there are teams with points ties) advance to the playoffs. Division leaders are seeded 1-2-3 going into the playoffs, regardless of points. The first round of the playoffs are played in-conference in the format 1 vs 8, 2 vs 7, 3 vs 6, and 4 vs 5, with the higher seeded team getting home ice advantage for a best of seven series. Reseeding for home ice advantage continues through the second and third round. The fourth and final round, to win the Stanley Cup, is played between the champions of the Western and Eastern conferences.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, right?

The only issue I have with this format is the seeding of division leaders. Here are the Eastern Conference standings as of 11:30 PM on April 2, 2012 for the teams that are still in the mix eight days before the Stanley Cup Playoffs begin (teams that have been mathematically eliminated from playoff contention are omitted):

* = Division leader, x = Clinched playoff spot, y = Division Champion

New York, Boston, and Florida are seeded 1-2-3 by virtue of being the leaders of their divisions. It can been that Pittsburgh and Philadelphia have more points than Boston and Florida. New Jersey and Ottawa also have more points than Florida. If, say, after all teams have played 82 games, Washington finished with more points than Florida, and Florida finished with less points than Ottawa, then there would be a flip flop between Washington and Florida since they are both in the Southeast Division. That is, Washington could leapfrog four teams that has more points than them if Washington won their division.

Do I like seeing the Florida Panthers in third place over the Pittsburgh Penguins? Yes, I do, because I hate the Penguins. But do I think it is fair for the Panthers to be in third place over the Penguins? No. No way.

One very simple solution I’ve seen proposed to fix this issue is to get rid of the 1-2-3 seeding for division leaders. Instead, division leaders would still be guaranteed a playoff spot but seedings would be based only on points totals (and tie-breakers, if ties exist). This would assure that the teams who get the higher seeds are the ones who have “earned” it.

So, in New Frontiers, my format for the Stanley Cup Playoffs is everything that I think is right.

• Although there are only two divisions in each conference, it is still the top eight teams in each conference that make the first round of the playoffs, regardless of what division they are in. It would be possible for four West and four Central Division teams to make the playoffs. Or it could be five West and three Central. Or even seven West and one Central (though the likelihood of that actually happening would be slim to none).
• The 1 vs 8, 2 vs 7, 3 vs 6, and 4 vs 5 matchups remain.
• Division leaders are guaranteed a berth in the first round of the playoffs. They are guaranteed a spot by winning their division, but they are not guaranteed a  high seed because of it. Seeding is based on points and tie-breakers. The division leaders could make the playoffs anywhere from 1st-8th place in the first round.
• Also, since there are only four divisions in two conferences, only four berths are “guaranteed”. With each division having eight teams in it, the division leader would literally have to be the best in its division anyway and not just by luck, if it’s going to sit on top of seven other teams. There are no weak divisions this way.
• Reseeding would occur with each new round of the playoffs as it does under the current format.

Some final notes about the fictional teams that were “created” for the story:

• A team named the Quebec Bulldogs once existed in Quebec City in a few different senior-level men’s hockey leagues from 1878-1917. Later, when the team was known as the Quebec Athletic Club, it played one season in the NHL from 1919-20. This team does not share history with the Quebec Nordiques, who played in Quebec City from 1972-1979 in the WHA, from 1979-1995 in the NHL, and who would relocate and become the Colorado Avalanche beginning in 1995-96. In New Frontiers, the Phoenix Coyotes have relocated to Quebec City. I did not want to give them the Nordiques name because the history of that franchise exists, it’s just in Denver now. Also, the history of the Phoenix Coyotes is with the team that was formerly the Winnipeg Jets. The fact that there are old Jets (old Jets = Coyotes) and new Jets (formerly Atlanta Thrashers) is problematic already, I don’t want to add to that.
• The history of an NHL team called the Kansas City Scouts is as follows: Kansas City Scouts (1974-76) –> Colorado Rockies (1976-1982) –> New Jersey Devils (1982-present). Though the New Jersey Devils are an active team, I felt it appropriate to re-name the new fictional team in Kansas City the Scouts because the history is not as confusing as the whole Nordiques, Avalanche, Jets, Coyotes kerfuffle. Furthermore, the team name, the Scouts, is after the Kansas City Scout statue. It’s iconic to that city.
• Now, there was never a team in San Diego called the Stingrays. There’s never been an NHL franchise in San Diego. There have been professional minor league teams there that operated as the San Diego Gulls. At present, there is a junior hockey team that plays as the Gulls. There is a team called the South Carolina Stingrays that plays in the ECHL. But the San Diego Stingrays…they’re mine.

To recap, I’ve presented you with a bunch of information that you don’t need, because you wouldn’t have questioned it while you are reading the story anyway. But I never do anything halfway. I have the little details sorted out for my own writing purposes.

Just don’t ask me how it’s possible there are four California teams in this version of the National Hockey League.

(Note: I don’t own the NHL. I’m not affiliated with the NHL, any of its member teams, or the NHLPA. I’m just a kid who is writing a story. My own realignment plan and the new teams I’ve “created” are completely fictional. Please don’t sue me or take the few dollars in my bank account or even my late-night snacks. Good night.)

Unlike all the other stories I’ve ever posted, the new one isn’t named after a song. Well that’s just weird, right? Music has always been the biggest source of inspiration for all the stories I’ve written in the past. I might’ve just gotten to the point now where, for this story, it isn’t. That’s not to say that music isn’t important to my storywriting anymore. It definitely is and it always will be. But this time it isn’t the primary. At long last I can reveal that it involves hockey.

The last story I wrote that involved a sport…might be considered somewhat of a disaster. I mean, that story is SWW. I’ve changed it and it put it off so many times that I’m still not done posting it, and I’m years removed from when I finished it. I think my problem with SWW is that I don’t love what Dusty loves. I never found a way to make soccer important in the story in the way that it should be. That’s not going to happen with hockey in New Frontiers. I devote a huge amount of my time to watching games, and paying attention to what’s happening in the hockey world on a day-to-day basis. If I were to calculate how much of my day revolves around hockey-related things, I’d probably be pretty embarrassed because it’s too much.

I realize that my interests aren’t always reflective (and usually they aren’t) the interests of my readers. That’s fine. Actually, that’s better than fine. New Frontiers involves hockey but it isn’t a hockey story. I don’t think that you have to enjoy hockey or even really know anything about it. Isn’t that something I’ve done with all my stories? It wasn’t necessary to like the kind of music that Tainted Fate played to like the Destiny series. It wasn’t necessary to be big on punk and the year 1979 to root for Jet in ICHL. It’s not necessary to identify with surf culture to identify with Dusty and her friends in SWW. The same goes for New Frontiers. Anything you need to know about the context will be written into the story.

It wouldn’t be a story by me if I didn’t do a ton of research. This time around I’m probably enjoying the research part way more than I should. As a serious hockey fan, most of it is stuff that I would have found anyway even without needed to incorporate it into the story. For every (or almost every, depending on how it goes) chapter, there will be a post on the blog that goes into further detail about the hockey side of it. You don’t have to read the blog posts. They give extra information and explanations about the hockey side of the story, which might interest you (or something to read if you’re bored? Knowledge is power!), but you’re not going to be any worse off for not reading the posts. It’s basically just self indulgence on my part. Why? Because I can, that’s why.

The first of those posts (articles? features?) will be written after I finish writing this post.

Along with the prologue of the new story I also published another chapter of SWW on the site like I said I would. It’s winding down. Soon I will be completely done posting it. About time.

I have mixed feelings about this chapter. On one hand, I’m annoyed at both Dusty and Kyle. They’re both on such different ends of a spectrum here, which keeps them from being able to meet in the middle. I feel like it’s such unnecessary teenage drama. But then I remember that, yeah, it’s supposed to be teenage drama, and maybe it’s just the 22-year-old in me that knows better, which is why I hate them for it. Because on the other hand, I like the place that they’re in because it isn’t convenient. If everything was just convenient and easy, there’d be no point. Hunky-dory does not a story make, right?

The next installment of New Frontiers is probably a month away. Maybe four weeks if I’m lucky. It isn’t because I don’t have anything else written past the prologue. I do, but I want to be way further along in writing the story before I make final decisions about the early chapters. I expect this story to be 20-25 chapters long. I’m trying to motivate myself to be at the halfway mark when May rolls around. While I’m writing, I also hope to be done posting SWW. Only two chapters left! It shouldn’t even be a challenge for me to edit that amount of writing. But somehow it always takes me a whole day. I can never sit still.

Here are all the links for today:
New Frontiers: Prologue
Sitting, Waiting, Wishing: 3-VII

The blog: afterglare.com/blog

Tumblr blog: blog.afterglare.com

If you want to read my rambling, it doesn’t really matter where you go. The content is the same. I know people like tumblr and it’s easy to “follow” on there. Go for it if you haven’t already! I won’t be able to follow you back since that blog is a sub of my main personal tumblr. Well, actually, I guess I will be able to follow you back…just not from the afterglare blog. Feel free to ask questions, too. I love hearing from you guys.

As posted on the current home page, I am preparing to have a new layout, story, and chapter of SWW up by the end of the month. There are only a few more chapters of SWW left to post, which makes me happy that I’ll finally be done with it. It’s still giving me problems when I try to edit because, like I said before, I feel so far removed from it. But damn it, I am going to finish posting it.

Right now one of my issues with the new story is that I still don’t have a title for it. This story is a pretty big project for me. I am committed to it but it is going to take time. Don’t be surprised if a month passes between the time that I post the prologue/first chapter and the next one. But how can I even begin posting when I don’t have a title?

I definitely have more than one chapter written but ideally I’d like to be almost halfway through writing the story once I start posting. I think I’ve gotten selfish with this story. I really like who the characters are. I’m sticking to my guns with the whole writing for myself thing and I hope it doesn’t get in the way of how much you like the story. At the end of the day, regardless of the specific lives of characters, like the things I’ve written in the past, it’s a story about two people.

Wait, what? Didn’t I just post a chapter five days ago?

I have no idea how this happened. I was tweaking a few things, then I got caught up in it and decided to go all out and have it posted by the end of the night. Since I finished SWW so long ago I don’t really remember how I felt or what I was thinking when I wrote these last few chapters. But this one is one of my favorite chapters in the story and I feel like that means I probably worked pretty hard on it.

Editing this reminded me how (in my opinion, anyway) I got pretty comfortable with transitions between dialogue and description and back. That’s something I’ve been working on with the new writing I’ve been doing since January. I wouldn’t say that the way my chapters were coming together was bad but it wasn’t until two weeks ago that I finished a chapter and could look it over and say the flow was seamless. Since then I feel like I’m getting back on track.

If you’re reading, thank you.

That’s what I remind myself when I’m looking at Sitting, Waiting, Wishing. What I’m currently working on right now involves characters that are in their early 20s, so shifting back to 17 to edit SWW has been a bit challenging. I stare at the dialogue and say things to myself like, “would she really say that?” and “is that how he would word it?” Because what Dusty and Kyle and Evan say…I don’t think they would say that if they were older. But they’re not. They’re teenagers. They are a certain way.

Now with all that said, I am writing this post to tell you that I updated SWW! You can read the new chapter by clicking on the link at the bottom of this post. I got to experience the pains of editing a chapter again. The way I edit is to read the chapter from top to bottom, then bottom to top at least four times. So 8 times in total at the very least. I can’t remember when it was that I learned reading your writing from bottom to top is the best way to edit, but I’ve done it probably since I was 16. The logic behind it is that the story doesn’t make sense when you read it from bottom to top, so it’s much easier to pinpoint mistakes.

I also got to see the form to upload a chapter to my own site for the first time in a few years. It was only vaguely familiar. And to think that four years ago I used to see it every few weeks. Nothing but nostalgia. It definitely brought me back.

I decided not to touch the layout for now. The footer has the wrong copyright year (2009!) but I’m just going to leave it until I start posting my new story. The layouts on the site have always had visual clues or nods to whatever the current story I was posting. If I changed it now, I’d just give it away. Also, I know that right now pointing your browser to afterglare.com redirects to this blog page and not the main site. I think I’m going to leave it that way until the new story, too.

The next chapter of SWW is one of my favorites of the whole story. It’s also lengthier than the chapter I just posted. I hope to do it justice once it is edited. I’m only half a week late from when I expected to post this chapter, so if I say I’m going to try and get the next chapter out in the next two weeks, maybe I’ll post it in three weeks? ;]

Here’s the new chapter: 3-V

It feels strange to be working on something that I wrote such a long time ago and pretty much just left untouched. I almost feel like it is someone else’s work as I go through it. But the storyteller in me is actually excited. I don’t know how I feel about Dusty taking me back to high school, but I do like going back to seventeen. I’m not sure if getting these two chapters by the end of the week is feasible. I’ll try.

Going back to when I started writing and posting stuff at 14, I don’t think I’ve ever began a story without knowing beforehand what conflict was going to arise. But I’ve had the writing itch for a while, ever since I graduated from university so I just decided to do it. On January 1st I put the pen to the paper and just went for it. So I started writing again and I realized that there was something I forgot in my long absense: you run into unexpected ideas. Halfway through writing the third chapter I had a grand moment of epiphany. The conflict came to me. It seems dumb now that I let myself sit on this idea for so long. All I had to do was start. And that seems so obvious now.

In my last blog/update in June, I noted that above all I have to write for myself. I have every intention of doing that with this story. I don’t think I really have much of a choice. I doubt that I still have an audience and even if I did, I’m not sure how interested they would be in reading this. That’s fine with me though. I am determined to finish writing this and have something complete again.

The writing kick I’m on may have been unintentionally encouraged by someone who recently read everything I have up on the site. Lana and Kieran are my favorite, I Could Have Lied is the one I’m most proud of, and Sitting, Waiting, Wishing is…still not completely posted. The person who read told me that SWW is actually her favorite and to please finish posting it. I know I’ve been saying for years that I’m going to get around to editing those last few chapters and finish posting it, but this time I mean it for real. Before she started reading, I’d actually decided that I was going to just take that story down. But then I went on the site and read all the chapters of SWW that are posted and realized, wow, I actually like the story. I guess even though I pay little to no attention to the site, there’s a reason I can’t let go of it after all this time. It’d be an accomplishment for me to see that story finally completed on the site.

I think I’ll be forever undecided on whether or not I should copy edit all of Lana and Kieran’s story. Before I started writing this post I was reading the chapters I have on the blog that have already been copy edited and I couldn’t help but think how cute they are. Is it wrong to think your own characters are completely adorable? I’m torn as to whether I should do the edit overhaul, or if it’s been too long and I should just leave everything be. I want the writing of all three stories to be to a standard that doesn’t make me cringe. It’s mostly Part One that I have a problem with, but there are spots in Part Two and Part Three I would like to fix, too. So I don’t know. But I’ll keep it on the backburner for the time being. It’s way more important for me to keep going with what I’m writing now.

Way back when, I made a couple of big site updates annually on March 12th, because it was the “anniversary” of the site opening all the way back in 2005. I will post at least a chapter of SWW and the new story on that day. Because I can and because I have to do this for myself. Maybe even a new layout!

Chapter Five: Shrimp Salad

On the fateful Sunday morning that I was to have dinner with the Parsons, I grabbed brunch with Sahara before we headed to the salon.  The hair appointment my mom booked had turned into a double appointment for my best girl friend and me.  At least I would have good company while I got ready for something I didn’t want to do.  My hair was revitalized and the tone was evened out.  My nails were buffed and perfectly manicured.  That part was all good and relaxing.  What sucked was picking out a dress.  I’d been dreading this whole thing, especially during the last week that I’d spent with Kieran, so I’d put dress shopping off to the last minute.

I hit up Neiman Marcus on Wilshire with Sahara after we had brunch.  They always had a huge selection of contemporary dresses (and weren’t limited exclusively to only one designer) to choose from.  Their eager employees were always willing to help me out with accessories to complete the look as well.  I’m sure my mother’s goal was to get Nathan to fall in love with me or something to that extent.  Unfortunately for her we had a very different goal in mind.

My goal was to get him to not like me so that I could hang out with my actual boyfriend.  Was it too much to expect a dress to produce disappointment?

The perfect dress was teal, short, and somewhat cleavage revealing, but not slutty.  It would meet my mom’s standards for what was appropriate to make an impression on the Parsons family because it was a really nice dress and I knew it was a color she really liked.  But there was no plunging neckline and the back was pretty conservative.  If I were actually intent on getting Nathan to like me I would have picked a little black dress.

“What do you think, Sahara?” I asked her while I looked at myself in the dress in the three-way mirror.

She wiggled her perfectly arched eyebrows at me and smirked.  “You look hot.”

“But not the kind of hot that would make a boy think I am trying to impress him, right?”

“Hmm,” she paused, chewing on the bottom of her lip as she made an assessment.  “More like the kind of hot that means he’s only allowed to look at you.  From far away.”

“I hope so,” I said, smoothing down the dress.  “I want Nathan to…to not give a second thought to me.  I really hope tonight can be quick and painless.  I don’t want to mess anything up with Kieran.”

In a week everything seemed to just fall into place for Kieran and me.  It just seemed right.  The time we spent together seemed too short.  Not just because he was juggling a lot with school, work, the band, and a girlfriend, but also because I just really liked being with him. It was hard for me to ever know what he was thinking because he didn’t talk a lot, but I felt like in such a short amount of time he understood me.  He got why I was so conflicted with the Beverly Hills bubble and he could understand the principles I was building against it.

He was so amused that I was interested in his life and all the things that made him, well, him.  I could finally get him to say more than a few sentences at a time since I knew that he liked me and he was dating me and he wanted to be around me too.  Maybe I had trouble guessing what he was thinking but I was getting to know him.  He told me about his family, his friends, and his music—everything he was outside of the walls of Park Laine.  I loved hearing about his version of normal.

I thought about him while I was paying for my expensive dinner dress, and matching shoes, and matching blazer.  I didn’t have a budget.  When the cashier rung up my purchases it turned out that the shoes actually cost more than the dress.  Outrageous, right?  My guess was that I could probably get a nice dress for less than a hundred dollars at a department store in the mall.  But no, in the bubble, paying hundreds of dollars—plural—was normal.

* * *

“Don’t slouch, Lana,” my mom commanded from beside me.

Well, more like hissed at me under her breath.

Fighting the urge to roll my eyes, I moved to sit up straight in my seat.  Dinner was going splendidly.  I’d said like four sentences the whole time.  For the most part it was Nathan who was speaking.  He was really excited about some new deal that he’s just settled.  Well woo fucking hoo.  I wasn’t paying any attention.  A 19-year-old kid getting richer by the minute just didn’t spike my interest. I didn’t give a shit, and from what I could see, neither did Jeremy.  We were giving each other ‘looks’ from across the table the whole night.  I had to resist the urge to kick him really hard a few times because he was sitting right beside Nathan.  I wouldn’t want him to think I was doing some feisty flirting with him if my aim was off.

The food was terrible.  We were at La Jardine Royale, one of the most posh restaurants in town.  What kind of shmuck names their restaurant ‘The Royal Garden’ anyway?  The food wasn’t terrible per say, I just hated it because I didn’t get to pick my own food, shrimp salad.  I liked seafood just fine but I would have preferred for it to be fried and sizzling hot, not chilled.  Besides, salad isn’t a meal.  It’s a side order, and a shitty one at that.

“…for a walk?”

Jeremy cleared his throat.  Shit, did somebody just talk to me?  I looked up from my crappy food to see Nathan looking directy at me.  Oh, so now he wants to talk to me?

I’d only caught the last part of what he was saying.  As much as my mother would hate me, I had to hear the whole statement to be able to reply.  “Sorry, what was that?”

“I said, would you like to go for a walk?” he repeated.

Not with you.  Who the hell goes for a walk at a restaurant?  I smiled at him anyway.  “Okay, sure.”

The last time I’d gone for a walk with a boy I was giddy because I liked him so much.  That boy became my boyfriend.  So this time couldn’t be a repeat.  What was I supposed to say to Nathan?  What was he even going to ask me?

I got up from the table and followed him outside to the terrace.  Almost automatically a server came and offered us champagne from his tray.  Lifesaver, thank you.  I guess La Jardine Royale wasn’t all that bad if they were offering drinks to teenagers.  Now was a time when I really did need alcohol.  Nathan took two glasses and placed one in my waiting palm.  He took a sip of his and smiled at me.  Oh, good God.  Was I supposed to start small talk?  Small talk was not my thing.  Not in the slightest.

“Is your evening going okay?” he inquired.

Honestly?  No.  “Yes.”

His blue eyes were illuminated by all the little tea lights on the terrace.  “Really?  I couldn’t help but notice that you weren’t paying much attention to any of what I was saying.”

“I was listening,” I argued.

Nathan chuckled.  “You can admit it, Lana.  It doesn’t even matter.  I was just living up to our parents’ expectations.  Otherwise I wouldn’t have brought any of that stuff up.”

“Seriously?” I wondered and he nodded.  “Well, maybe I zoned out a few times.”

“It’s cool,” he shrugged.  “What’s keeping you so preoccupied?”

My boyfriend.  “What is this!  Twenty questions?”  I bit my lip, realizing how rude it came off.  I really had to work on not reflecting what I was actually thinking in my head.  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

“Your boyfriend?” he guessed.

“Uh, um,” I stammered.  He had caught me off guard.  “No.”

Nathan had the audacity to grin at me.  “It obviously is.  And you’re hiding it from your parents because they’ll freak out when they find out who he is.  That’s it, isn’t it?  You were forced to have dinner with my family tonight and you didn’t have a choice because your parents like me.”

Was he a psychic?  Where was he hiding the crystal ball in his jacket?

“Listen, Lana, I think you’re smokin’ hot and all, but I’m not that guy—the desperate one who needs to force girls into dates,” he told me, running a hand through his mousy brown hair.  “Sorry about tonight.  I was just having a conversation with my mom about your family and somehow your name came up, and I said that I would love to date a girl like you.  In theory.  And all of a sudden we’re here, tonight.  Don’t get me wrong, if I knew you I probably would date you, but I would never force you to go out with me.  I’m not a jackass.  At least I don’t think so.”

I laughed at his long-winded apology.  “You’re not a jackass.  And you’re funny.  So that’s good.”

“Well thanks.” He responded, looking pleased with himself.  “You do have a boyfriend, don’t you?”

“Yeah.”

Nathan wondered, “So who is he?”

Again with the twenty questions!  “He’s not anyone you know.  I don’t think you’d want to know about him either.  You wouldn’t find him that interesting.”

He cocked an eyebrow.  “Must be interesting enough if you’re willing to lie to your family about him.”

“I’m not lying to my family.”  I corrected, “I’m just…not telling them everything.  Besides, Jeremy knows.”

“And he approves?”

“They haven’t met yet,” I shrugged.  “But my brother’s never been one to judge a person he’s never met.  And he’s, you know, the cool kind of older brother.”

“Does this kid have, like, a glass eye?  Or six fingers?  What could be so bad?” Nathan wasn’t going to let it go.  “Is he thirty?”

“Nathan, please.”  I sighed, even though it was kind of funny.  “No, he’s not thirty.”

“Then…”

“Well he’s…he’s not exactly from around here,” I finally revealed.

Nathan gave me that annoying grin again.  It was much different from Kieran’s dimpled grin.  “Ah, I see how it is.  So Lana Harland prefers her boyfriends not to be from the 90210.”

I didn’t say anything and he took it as a sign to say more.  “You know, I dated some girls who weren’t rich.  Those were some good times.”

He was saying it like there had been multiple encounters years and years ago.  He was one year older than me.

“That’s great,” I answered.

“You don’t care, do you?” he laughed.

“Not particularly.” I shook my head.

“So…do you want—or need—my help?” he wondered.

You can help me keep a secret from my family?  “How?”

“Well, you’ll be out a lot.  Your friends will start feeling neglected and they might let it slip.  It’s happened to me.  I’ve been to high school.  I know how the drama works,” he reminded.  “If you said you were with me, and I confirmed it, your parents might not ask so many questions.  It’d keep them happy.  You know what I mean?”

Nodding was all I could do.  Then I smiled.  Oh man, I smiled the same annoying grin as him.  Nathan was a genius.